Day 12 - World Credit Crunch!

I really don't understand all the going's on at the moment, but it's got me nervous, very nervous! Whats going on with the world, why can't we help each other out! I wanna make moves in my career, but this credit crunch has dampened my mood. I am dreaming back to the day when I was so much younger and all that mattered was the weather! Rain we stayed in and Sun was out and about! am I getting that old that all this worries me? House kids and wife..........are these things I want? Answer, Yes!

I want to build a life, a family, a home! But at 30 is it to late? Am I letting all this talk of world economic collaspe stop those dreams? How am I to stand and fight my corner when they are 7 billion in that corner? What and who do I turn to in this time of confusion? Im afraid music may not be the answer, hiding under your bed and living on oranges may be an option! It's like David Sedaris said in his book 'Naked'
Sleep is the best thing when your broke, you forget about your hunger and your misery! - Oh Fuck!

Now I know i've been inconsistent with the blog, but come on I did well enough! So what I have decided to do is stick with the days and finish off with 12 last entry's if possible. Musically my life has been turned into Kings of Leon heaven with the new album - that keeps the depression of the current world at bay for just over 40 mins, thanks boys.

Here is to running free in our minds and to remain forever young!

Day 13 - Beat & Unlucky?

I'm shattered.......all worked out! From office to outdoors the day has ended thank christ, Im on my back in my bed, dreading tomorrow! Where is the relief?
I have rang and rang to no avail. I need a day in bed, no joke! Phone off, curtains closed and a stack of comics and no brainer DVD's (anyone care to join me?)

The tempo in work has increased ten fold as people are leaving or have been sacked so the adventures & meetings keep piling up! What the fuck is it with bosses and meetings? Is it an importance thing? Who the fuck knows......idiots the lot of them!
So as you can guess i have a million meetings tomorrow, see thats the 13!

Im off to bed - Guess Im running outta things to say!
Well here is some cracking music for you all to end todays blog
Check out the Foals

Day 18, 17,16,15 & 14 - Fashion & Reality!!!!!!

Jesus the pressure! I have not forgotten about you all just been away from the computer for a few days, as I attended the opening of Fashion week in a certain city! Wow Wow Wow, Kinda funny when you look at your first real fashion show, I mean I've seen them on the tv and all but up close!
Those girls are skinny let me tell ya, and can walk walk walk! But seriously I had a blast. Always good to get away from what you are doing and emerse yourself in something different!

So the time has flown by on my blog I can't believe it, can you? Everyday I write seems like another piece of the puzzle fitting into place, but if it were that simple then life would be to easy, along with the news a few weeks back of me getting with a lovely lady, has brought about new challenges and raised many new and interesting questions! Now we all known that at the end of the day we have to make our own choices and these aren't easy, and cause undue stress upon one's self! And from that we seek advice anywhere we can, from all sources...........don't tell me you've never looked on the internet for advice and some stories of your problems in the hope that there may be answers there! We are all the same....and we all go through the motions of life...Happy, Sad, Love, death, wealth and being broke!

I can tell you this that you may not find answers in my blog but some observations of my life from my up's and down's and believe me there have been many many downs! Yet of late my mood has lifted and I have myself trawling through Youtube for old videos of songs that I remember from happier days! now I'm not to sure I should post them up so I will lay some links for you all here is 1 and 2

Well Thats all for now, I will try to keep the day to day stuff going!

Day 19 - Disappointment with Humanity

Here on this small fickle planet we all run around, trying to get the most out of our years on the earth, passing each other for the safety of what we believe to be a comfortable life. The picture here does justice to those beliefs, we may rise and be happy but all around others plot our downfall. Paranoid you might say, perhaps, but I have seen the people with the knives. I have seen them stab a man to death and I stood by and watched it all like most of us on this planet! The billions that sit on the fence!

This is something that has become more paramount in the cinema these days with the rise of the superhero, a man/woman who rises against the dark criminal element tormenting the normal lives of people, where ever they may be. Yet we all enjoy these movies but fail to take the message home. Now I'm not saying I may done a cloak and stop bank robbers, no what I trying to say is lets be a bit more positive and helpful to our fellow man/woman. I think the way to this is to listen, and give positive feedback, even throw a hug out every now and then, they work!


I will leave you again with another Rolling Stones video,
Forgive me but I am loving them at the moment!

Day 20 - In harms way

On my late run tonight, brought on by the fear of the earlier McDonalds, I noticed all the slugs and snails sitting pretty on the path with all that possible death looming! So why do they move toward the centre of the path? Do they want to die? Well I throw that out there to the www so lets hope we can get some answers.

Also a thing thats been getting me down, is that I am experiencing a serious lack of music, and that hurts! I found an old album on cassette, the Rolling Stones, Vodoo lounge, jesus I had to scramble around to find a tape player! But after I found one the memories came flooding back! I really think that this is a sexy fucking song! Play it when your with your partner. and seriously mix it up!!



So anyway work is bearing down like a communist hammer! Where has the fun gone from the work environment? The laughs have given way to nervous glances over our shoulders! Where once open chat was at play, suspicious chats take place outside the building so you can see the enemy coming at you! Is this a place where you want to work? Hell no!

Jesus Look what I found! Angelina with a shaved noggin! Now thats hot!


Well to finish the tunnels are being dug!

Day 21 - Skype me Beyatch!

Well what can I say? Last night a DJ saved from a broken heart! Well not quite that, but I have to say a big thanks to Skype, gives me the opportunity to converse with peeps around the world (if you know what i mean)

Well the pressure for moving to greener pastures is mounting! All thanks to Mr. D, you know who you are have no fear the ball and wheels are in motion!

Good night

Day 25, 24, 23,& 22 - Sitting in the back of my mind

It's been a long few days, days of bad news, meeting old friends, drinking, laughs topped off by very little sleep! Which in turn has left me tired and cranky and some what a little down.
I was shocked on day 25 when I received an email from my Boss annoucing his leaving of the company I work for, I was really dissapointed by this fact, as he was a good guy, someone I could speak freely with and more importantly trust! Now that he has left the company I feel a bit isolated in a sea of coruption and back stabbing! His words to me of not trusting anyone and they don't respect you has left me cold!

Now the seeds have been sown, I have to get outta here! Go somewhere where I am appreceiated for who I am, yes that's right the happy go lucky fella,the Prince of Eternia! (He-Man).


I suddenly feel the world is closing in, the skies constantly grey, as the humour has dissapered with the sun. The days are rolling into one, and my shoulders heavy with thoughts of my life and the path I walk and drive! There has always been something holding me back in my mind, a small nagging worry! I need to be rid of it.
The only way to describe what I am talking about is looking to your friends to catch you as you fall back, To actually go through that would be brilliant!

Also at the moment all my music has turned sour! I need something new, something uplifitng! I have been listening to this album again after their suprise Mercury win!



Well I shan't leave it so long next time for all you readers.
Though what I will be turning to is how to keep a long distance reletionship sparkle?
Answers on a comment!

Day 26 - I am in Love with the most beautiful girl in the world!

I am in Love with the most beautiful Woman in the world! I needed to say that. It took a long time coming, but I must shout it out. Thank you God for brining her into my world.

You have made me better.


For you all please listen to Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks to know what I am talking about!

Day 27 - Early Flight & Late to bed!

Yup thats me on the ballon cathing my early flight! Sorry for the delay on the post, completely bombed last night was up packing etc etc. So I am away for the weekend with work not bad as it keeps me outta trouble and I get to catch up with fellow colleagues from around world!

So I arrived in the city and had an afternoon pint! I'm destroyed now!

I wanted to say a 1000 things to you all, but my phone has just buzzed and I have recieved some startling news! So I'll have to get back to you with my thoughts!


Before I go FBI Girl has brought this lot to my attention White Lies Check out 'Death'

Day 28 - Early to bed & a lighter Soul

Just like the title, thats me! Im off to bed. I want to feel comfortable and am finding that hard at the moment, so bed it is.
I have just nailed a vindaloo so will really look forward to that tomorrow!

My anxiety is really playing up at the moment, all my current tasks have become boring chores as my mind wanders across the space time continum to who knows where!
I try hard to ground myself but the emotions in my body will not allow it. 'Stay here Nomar! Stay with us here, high in the clouds'
Need to relax need to get rid of the energy!, Back to gym for me! Been away to long!

Well on the good news side FBI girl and I will be hitting the concerts soon and will no doubt be drafting up little reports on the gigs, we are currently lining up my current favourite Micah P. Hinson! That pic was taken by me at a festival just passed, Tickets have been confirmed!We also have Bon Iver and the Kings of Leon also so plenty of fun to come!

I have one thing to add to today's blog my Soul is lighter and I am getting happier day by day. A women is in my head I have looked at her face, for a long time, so that I have burned it onto my retina, her smile, the way her head turns away when she laughs, keep me moving somehow. At times in my head her face is inches from mine and I long to kiss her, kiss her forever! This is for her.

In Memoriam:27
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all
Alfred Lord Tennyson

Day 29 - Star Trek Worms & Indiana Jones Metaphors

Apologies about the gross picture. But of late I'm nervous and stresed as fuck. So the picture reperesents the aliens inside me eating me away from the inside. Right now I feel like i'm walking on broken glass or thin ice. I'm afraid to speak to freely as to what is going on at the moment, it's as if one word of it will break the spell and I will fall again. And to fall this time would be to much for me, that I know!
So all I ask is that you be patiant with me over the coming few days.

I had a brief talk with 'Anon' (Thanks) and he put life in this metaphor.
Think of the movie Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom, and the scene in the rail carts! Well thats life - moving in one direction, we can somehow change direction of the flow by either leaning to the side, using the brake or turning off when available, but in the end we are moving in one direction only!

So its been a few days since I added music.
Well as I am having serious paranoia and anxiety attacks I turned to an unlikely source of music to relax me, The Foo Fighters, now I'm a big fan no doubt about it. So please enjoy this song 'Home'
from their last album.

Good Night and don't let the stress worms bite!

Day 33, 32, 31 & 30 - Lights in Tunnels?

I know I know, it's been about 4 days!, buts it's been a roller coaster of a week and I mean roller coaster. My emotions are all over the place. Some things in my life have become a little bit clearer and some not so much.
Not sure if some of you have guessed, but I believe my life may be turning for the better, hence the light in tunnel picture. But to get better I have to make a few choices. Such as moving away from my homeland, leaving my Job, and giving up a few more bits and bobs!

I think it will be worth it, it has to be. I have to believe in things and that they will change for the better. If you have followed my blog you will have seen I have completed a downward spiral, so much so that I headed towards doctor to seek medical advice............but something has happened that has led to a slight turnaround of fortunes, Yet I have to keep my cards close to my Chest, sorry.

As always its late and I have to sleep. I will write a more in depth blog tomorrow filling in the 4 days.

Day 34 - Thoughts about it all

Thats me! Right there thinking about it all, and Im scared really fucking scared. The way I feel right now I'd be happy in front of a firing line, Shoot you Bastards what ya waiting for!

Right now there are many things going on in my life, that I'm afraid to write down, the problem is that, that is not the purpose of this blog. But I want to keep everything in right now. Im afraid to say things in case they aren't real, like I might wake up.

So I ask you all to bear with my nerves.

Day 35 - Easy does it fella!

I have to breath, take a deep breath of air and relax. The mind is racing, but like I say small steps really small.
Its 4 in the morn and I have to sleep, I will edit this post tomorrow so as to let you know whats going on!

Day 38, 37 & 36 - Addition

I completly forgot to mention the act of the festival, Grace Jones! Mad Mad Mad, what a preformer! She oozed confidence, style and mostly sex appeal on the stage! I honestly stood there with my mouth open for her whole set! She is now in my eyes a stage genius! I would gladly pull up to her bumper anyday!

Day 38, 37 & 36 - Peace

What a festival, really good, I was happy that I stuck to my guns and checked out a lot of bands and got to see the acts I wanted to see, one been Micah P.Hinson and he was class.

The picture to the left is kinda the get up I was wearing all week at the festival, one likes to get down with all cultures when at the festivals! so many things where there and so many things to see. What I never understand is how people just let all the music pass them by and concentrate on the booze and other things (if you know what I mean)
I get a lot of questions asking for a profile image, now I know I put one up, but for all you fans, who have stayed the course with me over the last 3 months I post this picture for you!

When I look at these men and women performing and think of how much I'd love to do it, jelousy runs riot in my mind. But then I stop and relax and say my time will come. I think in away that seeing so much music can only spur me onto try and I emphasis TRY! to write more music and write good stuff. Time to pick up the guitar.

To all readers, I feel a lot better today then I have in a while.
But remember these are emotions and they are forever wild like the ocean, so I am aware and I will always watch the sky.